Friday, July 30

omg..i've fallen in love..... with the new converse bag collection
the pink bag pack..omg..it is jus so awfully sweet jus so awfully "me"
me and xx were browsing thru the bags and this style realli caught our eyes and we were like posing in front of the mirror as if we were models or is it just "she" ? lolx.

anyway pink for me and white for her. monday is the day. i thought i might be able to coax my sis in sponsering some funds to help me pay for it however she insist she does not have much money now. sigh* is she for real? she earn quite alot each month..where did the money go then? -_-" well anyway is her money..not for me to qns. so then i turn to my 2nd sister for some persuading..it realli isnt the 2nd best choice..the moment i open my mouth to speak..there came her lecture..on the no. of bags i have. but plz..all these bags are jus pass down from u guys..wtf..

the onli real bag then i simply got is 1)the pink mango bag - which is awfully heavy when i put things in it n i dun know why! 2) the pink guess bag - which is too small to fit anybooks into it and of cos the 3)blue shayer bag - my sec 3 bag frm my sis. okae. i'm not complaining but i mean i saw it and i want it. and i want it now. i want it badly. is mine okae...sigh*

-+=hug me tight-+= 10:30 PM

Wednesday, July 28

So she said what's the problem baby What's the problem I don't know
Well maybe I'm in love (love) Think about it every timeI think about it
Can't stop thinking 'bout it
How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love (love)
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love
Come on, come on Turn a little fasterCome on, come on The world will follow after
Come on, come on Cause everybody's after love

So I said I'm a snowball running
Running down into the spring that's coming all this love
Melting under blue skies Belting out sunlight
Shimmering love
Well baby I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love
Well I didn't mean to do it
But there's no escaping your love
These lines of lightning
Mean we're never alone, Never alone, no, no

Come on, Come onMove a little closer
Come on, Come onI want to hear you whisperCome on,
Come on Settle down inside my love
Come on, come on Jump a little higher
Come on, come onIf you feel a little lighterCome on, come on
We were onceUpon a time in love
We're accidentally in love Accidentally in love (x7)
Accidentally

I'm In Love, I'm in Love, I'm in Love, I'm in Love, I'm in Love, I'm in Love,Accidentally (X 2)
Come on, come onSpin a little tighterCome on, come on And the world's a little brighterCome on, come on Just get yourself inside her
Love ...I'm in love

-+=hug me tight-+= 8:42 PM

Sunday, July 25

detoxification...
stARTS now!

-+=hug me tight-+= 7:53 PM

Friday, July 23

i hate the doctors..they jus like to poke me with needles.
yest i took the first real blood test i eva taken..and it was my worst nightmare
yeah i tot i took it once and thats it..but omg i never tot this will eva happen to me!! 1st the nursy applied tis alcohol to my skin cooling* then they locate my vein and stuck tis long long sliver pin into my vein..i closed my eyes so i dun know wat happened except this extreme pain! ah..~~@!#@#Q$ and then... when i tot it was over i heard them saying no no tis one cannot.. then i few the pain of the needle drawing out..but not realli then i realise they ask me to relax the needle cant come out!! @#@$@$ it jus makes me panic more!! i realli..nearly faint.. i got so pain..ful and onli little bit of blood was drawn out..then the 2nd and the 3rd..one i realli feel the needle going right into it all the way .... at 1st i was realli tired.. 1st my right hand then my left twice..arggg... i alreadi hate it cant we jus do it and leave it!!!...help! but anyway i'm glad my dar dar..was with me..muack..x....even though i hate him.. but then aiya.....and even though he so insensitive at timex but then... hmm.. i **** him.. lolx

-+=hug me tight-+= 6:36 PM

Thursday, July 22

i love...wind struck............
i wanna watch again...sigh*
nah nah..knockin' on heaven's door...

-+=hug me tight-+= 11:38 PM

Sunday, July 18

is 526 o' clock now. it was raining yesterdae.typhoon eight! the day before yesterdae was watchin my spidey in action-the 2nd time. yeah~ i screened the whole list n came up with this conclusion- darling we cant watch sisters...becos i'm watchin it next week with my jie-mei(z).. so got to give it up. then the next one on the list was -king aurthur- of cos.. i would like to watch it but not that day becos it simply need alot of thinkin which i dun tink is ideal after a hard day at sch. the -wind-struck- was definitely the no. one hot shot on my bulletin. i want it and i mean it. so i cant find any places which screen that movie anymore..oh nvm.

then my buggie gang was on their way to watchin "the-eye2" which left me out. the details were update by cutie-bug ..urgh.. i mean fishy bug.. she glorify me with the facts of the house the size of the rooms the environment the nice mum nice dad nice bro of piggy bug. real real real sad that i wasnt there that day but well..we'll always have another chance..ritex?

it just that i simply couldnt cancel off a date with my dear...is of cos not that i value love more than my friendship is just that the last minute thing realli gets on my nerves. but well cant realli say much since is all decided and thats seems like the last chance..boo hoo* the afternoon date was a bit rushy..the amt of food i ate is like..woah..

maybe i'm jus growing up...i dun know why i dun know how i could eat so much. i should stop. i'm not growing any taller ...what makes them think i'm growing in the first place??? sigh* all this food is making me sick making me tired making me ..ugly ... i'm always in my dreamland....

the stupid pw..is making me realli...irritated.. i dun know why. my group is great we never quarell or get into any cat fights. everything going smoothly..is just that i'm kind of stuck and to hand in everything by tml..is it possible? yeah... nothing can stops me.. -who m i?- i am...i am...-eleven-

oh ya.. rem that thurs..evening.. i met up with with "her" .. i mean kelly hee* cos i've been feeling rather awful that day and i need to spat out all those miseries to her. i mean i dun know..i jus need some comfort and she is just the best person =) we went shopping a while. yah.. and we went bugis becos i wanted "yoshinoya!" i realli liked meeting her even though she was LATE..lolx.. becos since she is studying at tp, how could i find an excuse that it was soooo hard to meet her? we surely have a choice dun we? even if i'm tired..i mean i could still meet up a while for dinner..and catch up on the old days.

Irony

Please don't think I deliberately fell into this pit full of stakes. I'm so sorry to have done so.

Please don't think that I wanted to be pessimistic. I want to smile and laugh freely, I want to truthfullly say that I'm happy. It's just that being happy is like a burden. I'm so sorry

I'm sorry for everything I've done, and everything that I haven't.

The confession

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."I've heard that a lot of times. I never believed it. Words won't hurt you only on one occassion, and that is when those words are in a language you do not know.

i've got to admit...i'm just a super sensitive freak

i wish all the good to all the people i care and i love.
i wish my friends will be happy and find their pathway to real happiness.
i wish life is simple and i do not complicate things any furthur either with my mind
or with physical means.
i wish all the bad things that happened will resolved by itself and everyone will be happie.
of all, i wish for world peace =)

illusion - my boy

seem to dream in black and white, and mostly in the little world where I meet you. I used to think that people met each other in dreams, but of course they do not. Still... I like to pretend you were really by my side, stroking my hair, telling me things you never told anyone else

We would walk without knowing where we were going, just walk; and holding the hand of each other, we seem to communicate without words. I could feel you understood; I could sense it when you smiled at me.

But when I wake up, the world of black and white breaks and lies on the floor. When my day goes on, I seem to be deep in thought, and drowning in the sticky honey whenever I think of you.

-+=hug me tight-+= 5:26 PM

Tuesday, July 13

the best thing of the week. i onli got one "F" for the whole exam. but terribly disappointed at the results..sigh* great smile for todae.. my lit..passed..and my prose is one of those that topped the co-hord. i am extremely happie for that but the sad thing is ...i flunk the rest of the other papers.esp the topic paper which i haf high hopes of..

locked up inside myself

Why, oh why am I content when I am unhappy?

I know. I know why. When I am unhappy, my mood is the lowest of the lowest, and I am content because I can't be any worse. No expectations... no nothing. But when I am happy, I can't possibly stay happy forever. It requires so much strength... something that I don't have much of.

i wish i could express what i'm feeling properlyi wish there was no one here to criticize me of my thoughts, because no matter how childish they sound, I'm sure we've all thought of the same thoughts once.

have u eva love someone and hate the person at the same time? it jus cos doubts in you whether u would love her more or hate her more. and if the hate overlapse the love.the love would be destroyed. Why do I have to be so overly pessimistic? Why? I just wish I could see the "brighter side" of things. But I think too much. If something bad happens to me, I think long and hard about it, and I see it worse than it actually is

Sometimes I'm proud of myself for being able to be such a good actress. Not the drama kind; it's the type where I can easily hide what I'm feeling. Even though I feel like I'm bursting to show how I'm feeling... I manage to show no expression at all.

-+=hug me tight-+= 6:32 PM

Monday, July 12

the air seems cooler and cooler.. i realli hate the air con.. i cant stand coldness i know i cant. every night i am covered in thick blankets and ya no fan too. my sis tink i am crazzy... -_-" even the bus is so cold these days..cos me unable to fall asleep on the bus becos i am busy trying to keep myself warm. i actualli tot of getting down the bus n take another bus. sigh* now in the library...cold again..feeling kind of headache..giddy..dun know wats wrong with me too. my hp spoil real irritating..

been getting some scoldings lately..or is it always the same? the constant rattling from my siblings...and then? argg..i've been feelin very tired lately - chronic fatigue-
maybe i got anemia..or maybe..jus...i dun know...i wish i dun feel that lethargic i could hardly think clearly in any sense..

i wish lessons would end soon. i wish i am at home. i wish the library is quiet instead.
sigh*

-+=hug me tight-+= 12:00 PM

Sunday, July 11

i found that i am obsessed with pink..almost every item in my bag is pink and i found that i am in love with so mani objects these days..almost mesmerised by it.for example i love the pink blush from "can make" i tink this brand..is not realli a branded make up brand like loreal or shu umemura.. and for lips stick..i onli have a passion for ikorea stuff and nivea pearl lip balm. and then i got an interest in the kiddy wallets that is ultra colourx. then i am in love with white shoes...haha.. and the books-those chinese novels.. i would actualli buy the whole store down..but then i havent even finish wats on my shelf.

but i totally love the gift from my sister..she actualli bought me this book..she told me it took her a long time to decide which boook for me.. i was realli touched by her thoughtfulness. then i realise she also wun spend money to buy a book for herself..! i guessed she's like me. i would buy it for her if i knew she like it...and i would do jus that! but items to me... even if i like i also wun buy it ba if is not necessary.. =)z

now my hp is spoil cant even see any msg or receive any calls..cos i cant even on the hp!
sad...realli...sad.. lolx... dun know wat my dear doing now... but jus now went to read his blog entry..hee..so roughly know what he's doing le.. =) missssing him...deeply

it may seems abit wierd that i am not writing abit deep into depth nowadays.. but maybe becos i started writing in my books those chinese entries..so.....my english kind of messsed up? i spent alot time tidying my room now..and everything seems so clean and neat now..i wonder when will it messed up? maybe tml? sigh* so sick of cleaning up again n again.. it always gets so messed up..arggg...

oh ya..havent been seeing my mum lately...i dun know why?? i;ve been so tired..and i havent eaten dinner with her for days.. i hoped she would take goodie care of herself..haix...love her ....

And since you know you cannot see yourself,
so well as by reflection, I, your glass,
will modestly discover to yourself,
that of yourself which you yet know not of.
William Shakespeare

-+=hug me tight-+= 1:43 PM

Saturday, July 10

todae was not bad. had my listening compre exam for ao. i hope i do well for Ao if not got to retake will be damm sianx. after the exam went for project work which was so tiring and trying to help in analysising the datas.but anyway rushed to meet my darling x.x haha..supposed to watch the show "mean girls" at 12.05 so rushed like mad le..and i havent even eat so we rush here n there lorhx.

then my sis kept callin yet mux hide from her ..sigh* guessed she was v disappointed with my results but she didnt blame me at all. the show was great the girls damm chio and the clothes also very nice and the hair..haha..but reali cant stand x.x she's louder than the show lorhx..haha.. then she was like saying "actualli u not bad lookin then we both will look v chio and u see guys like keep lookin at us" hahahha...i tink she say something like that la..then i think she realli very imaginative sia...but who knows? maybe true lei..lolx.. realli got infected by her crazinesssss.then she start talkin abt the lift guy who look at us and tell his fren..i tink she realli observant lorhx...observe guys alot! but realli la..so long le..time realli close our bond..realli sad that wq couldnt join us. we never even watch tog a show or realli hang out tog lei!

i mean it lor during weekdays everyday also v late go home the most we could was to actualli go tm..to eat lunch or go popular see books.. but now then w.q is grounded, chances are getting lesser... *sigh* i seems to be lacking of time and sleep these days. neglecting my frens alot. cant even have the time to meet kelly. if i dun have the stupid curfew and..y a...meet the parents session..haix!!!

i know i know the promo exam is coming.. i hope to pass too.. i really did too badly this time...how ah? i totally lost. but i will try my best to work harder..!! ya..and nessa... bet she tink i purposely dun contact le ba.. no..since my hp spoil realli v mafan..either i cant see the msg properly or otherwise dun know who contacted me. sob* i realli miss all my pals. i hope to spend more time tog..but right now is jus not the time yet?

-+=hug me tight-+= 8:57 PM

Friday, July 9

it was back to the old days of running 2.4 .. jus run abt 4 rounds and got my gastric pain i think cos morning got eat breakfast too full cant run end up taking some asprins... but very happie todae i score a touchdown for my ruby team woah.i didnt know rubby was so fun! =) well dear was sweet, been waking up earli to drive me to sch these days,kept me wondering"eh why u so good? realli not used to it?" hee.e..but..realli sweeeeet =)

my grades..totally sux...wats with the 2 big F and D..sigh*even x.x n w.q are doing better than me!my essay was out of point so was my chinese compo.bring my marks down to negative infinite. -_-" well but dear is right...la..this is not A level or promo jus dun get so down..should buck up and work harder =)z i defintely will!!

after chinese,we headed off to tm to take neoprints cos was dismissed early for the day so 1st time taken a pic with weijie. then the four of us were then seperated here n there cos all busy with our own stuffx. but anyway feel real happi taking pics with them. jc life..i would like to keep some memoriex of it too.

so the four hansome guys in our schools are now labelled as "F4" kind of lame.but anyway they realli not bad.since x.x always gaga over the tennis guy.. and w.q i dun rem which one she was saying since all haf the same hairstyle but if my preference..of cos is "Desmond" which has the height and a cheeky boy look =X well after all this are superficial.. la.. heard tat their character not good..hmmpx. but anyway my heart onli got one darling le. so see no evil hor. =)z

MY WISH FOR YOU...(for all people i care)

-Where there is pain, I wish you peace and mercy.
-Where there is self-doubting, I wish you a renewed confidence in your ability to work through it.
-Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I wish you understanding, patience, and renewed strength.
-Where there is fear, I wish you love, and courage.

-+=hug me tight-+= 6:58 PM

Thursday, July 8

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, he said...no.

She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....and he said no.

She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no.

She had heard enough.

As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said....

You're not pretty you're beautiful.

I dont want to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you forever.

And I wouldnt cry if you walked away...I'd die...

-+=hug me tight-+= 7:48 PM

Wednesday, July 7

hey...surprised by the below entry when i say abt loving him and the accident? well it is entirely not written by me!!it is written by my dear BENJAMIN.. hahaha.. how could i write such a direct entry? thats so not me man defintely not my style... well..yes.. can't help but admit that truly abt 90% of the entry is correct but i didnt flew to ur arms..okae. i was stubborn. but then... i just cant help but have doubts. all i want was the best for the one i love. all pains and sufferings i would allow myself to carry it rather then let u face it, after all i wanna protect the one i love too; woah..i sound so ..."man" hee =) okae. well i am happie...to be..back with u.. i am glad;overjoyed.. okae overwhelmed in esctasy okae!lolx. i was...very happi todae.. i was..jus wanna talk to u even though hp spoil i feel like talking to you or sms u or..anyway jus so distracted and smiley smiley.while everyone is saying the same thing goes again..as if i can never leave u and dun even say i wan leave u le..they know i can't do it de.err..haha.. cos a week ago they believe my heart died.yet..any secs later an sms from u can get me so anxious lost of sleep worried...and lost my mind. some-how i am realli doubtful whether tis relationship will work it out..?scared and tired yet full of hope n jus know that even if the sky falls..and everything went bad for me..there's someone always will be there for me...and that is u my dear. frenx may claimed u dun seems to be there for me at my worse moments- i said that u were busy u would b there if u could n me i was jus paranoid n fear of tellin u anything leaveing u so lost. maybe becos i know ur true self onli to be me,will then they realise that i know u love me alot and the trust that i held in u..is the greatest power among all.

-+=hug me tight-+= 6:09 PM

it has been a long time since i wrote something down... almost thought i would just stop writing... am i doing the right thing? guess this question has been popping into my head since i met 'him' last night..can i really be open heart to him like how most of my gal friends are towards their boyfriends? i really wonder but no matter what.. so long as my heart aches for him when i see him, when i feel his breath when he hugs me,i know i am done for again...i really wish to be beside him again or should i now? my mind says no but my heart says YES! The only way for me to stop all this is to hide and lie but is this really my true feelings? is this really my true self? i keep questioning myself or rather,i dun even bother to question myself, for fear of realising the truth,or the true myself,so to speak.. when i heard of his accident,my heart sank.. what happened to him.. how is he now... which clinic is he at.. which hospital did he go.. haiz.. why must i be so weak when it always comes to him??? him him him... i m just sick of thinking.. better let my heart rules...i want to be happy with my dear benjamin.. i want him to be happy too.. can i take care of him? can he really fulfill his promise to make me feeling less pressurized..? i really want everything to work out between us.. I need him...as much as he needs me...

-+=hug me tight-+= 12:06 PM

Sunday, July 4

i'm realli happi..todae..becos "who am i?".. " i am spiderman"..woah..haha..i am obsessed with him..man..his muscles..his eyes..electricfying even though i find it watery at times..omg..he is my HeRo..! =)x .. well todae..things turned out better than i've thought. tis morning have a rough time handling who actualli m i suppose to meet up with for the movie? i thought i was realli disappointed when i know dear cal has watched the movie even though i seems to annouce to everyone that i mux watch spiderman. but in the end i watched it with my bao bei yun yun.wah realli rushed like siao jus to get there in time but then last min changed to watch the 2nd time slot for the movie. too bad that hw can't join us! cos he sore throat ba. hoped he'll recover soon then our gang can meet up for some ktv sessionss.

the whole day i was thinkin of spiderman.
haha..the whole movie..realli lucki that i watched it with yun cos..end up seems like a horror movie to me..cos the sound effect like terrifying me end up i clutched her like mad =P

so we met up cal at heeren then we took neoprints..hee* then talk abt our sch lives. i reall appreciate this time that she actualli took time to realli go out with us lorhx. we spend alot time in heeren searchin for the perfect hat for her. but then found one cheap but realli stylish hat at far east =) oh ya i meet up with alvin too ^_^ but too bad no much time to play a game of guilty gear x...! then e whole day shopping but i nvr spend money on any items except food n food n food. and i thought i was on a diet -_-"
i really dun care anymore. got to enjoy 1st...~~~ cos i feel...realli empty now..sigh* well i did bought some ear sticks that can't fit into the earholes haha..end up buying a smaller size one..damm wasted sia!!

but anyway i do cherish this time well spent tog pals! =)

-+=hug me tight-+= 1:13 AM

Saturday, July 3

there seems to be some sparks or light that i cant capture.
where things seems dark seems dim, i hope to see the light
when the night so cold..and the stars seems to be avoiding my gaze
and the wind so cool... and i jus like it anything that blows my hair back.

when i try seeking solace in this farmiliar place
but all along was avoiding it
spend hours there each night like eva

i'm realli happie that my examz are over and i start liking ppl more.
esp. x.x and qi.. and y.y and of cos my kelly
maybe i often take things too hard, trying so hard to make everythings goes right but it usually went the wrong way. though i feel that everything is jus going against me and everyone is just not bothering abt me anymore..but thats not always the case.
i went to tm yest with x.x after our chinese oral..ahh..the oral sux lar..haha.. obviously but then i cant be bothered abt it le. so we went shopping and i found the pink top in my size...i've been waitin for the call from the stupid orchard branch! but anyway x.x look great in the blue top too..offered to lend her money to buy but she can't so got to wait for her mum to buy it for her.. -poor fishybug- hahaha..
after that we went to century square moontip to get the same scrunchie but then i bought it in pink and she more suitable in her BLUE - then we saw our FaHanA in the shop, i realli think she looks like a medusa..realli very scary i can't look her in the eyes got this creepy look and i tink she realli detest us she dun seems to smile much either haha. got take a neocard..quite chio lorhx haha.. so i actualli feel much beta after yest's tog. cos..// think they quite concern abt me like kelly so nice but realli my hp sot so i couldnt reply when i was outside... when they can't find me on thurs night... well my hp spoil n...jus tired........................well but i'm fine~ =)
so we each got new names..huh.. i am the kitty bug and x.x the fishy bug and w.Q the piggy bug.. hahaha... as if we are powerpuff girls.
like i say time will tell how our frenship will blossom. whther it will turn into a flower or forever remain a seed there's bound to be remembrance of our growing process together.
although things may not always be smooth..but realli time will prove it all.

-+=hug me tight-+= 10:35 AM

Thursday, July 1

i really really like the movie "windstruck" alot. it doesnt requires much love lines. but the movie is so touching. the plot is fabulous. i like it so much i tink i will watch it again. i tink is better than the 1st movie my sassy girl, well both are good but this is realli realli good haha.i mean it lorhx.realli realli mus watch it.
is alreadi noon le.. yet i'm not studying. tml is my last 2 papers plus the real ao level oral i think. haix.. better jus finish everything at one go. how do i study literature? i totally have no idea. maybe just re read the book for a hundred times? the poetry exam on mondae was alreadi a gone case. and these days my life isnt going any better. i'm glad most frens are having a good time in poly while some still feel hard to fit in. but life is still so much abt changes. guess it takes some time. really feel that our lives are so different sometimes. but then they r going to sch now maybe the chances for us meeting up would be lesser and lesser, yes i do afraid the friendship feeling will tend to fade and drift apart... and then i will terrible and upset... but i believe that it realli takes two to keep such a bonding close. i didnt get to watch spiderman yest. sat is the day... but seems like i have trouble handling who to watch it with...since so mani sides have requested le.. haix.. my "spiderman"~...
either sides also cannot reject...cant everyone watch it at the same time? got a couple of job intro but got to concentrate on this week stuff 1st. my hp realli sot..le..cant receive calls or sms ppl cant receive and cant even see the no. on the screen.haix. hope it will be fixed up by next week. oh..ya..and the stupid check up apptm..next week..so much to antiscipate.....
oh and kelly...seen her on tues. so conincidence wah so early go school. =) realli miss her..hope next week or after examz can meet up and go take some pictures.... realli bored now le*

-+=hug me tight-+= 2:18 PM